Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Struggling a bit

I'm just really tired, and probably a bit whiny and cranky, too.

I have a bazaar at Eielson AFB Saturday, and as always I've waited until the last minute to get enough stock together. Rather, to try to make enough. So I'm working in overdrive, which used to be a rush but now is just exhausting and abusive to my body.

This bazaar hasn't happened in several years, and I've never done it. So I don't really know what to expect: a long, empty day or a big rush of customers. The Red Flag military exercises are going on, which means lots of pilots and personnel from other countries, perhaps looking for gifts and souvenirs to take home. Hope so.

I love selling in person. It's just the best -- to be able to watch somebody fall in love with a piece and walk away happy, wearing it. So I'm not complaining about the bazaar.

But I'm just gonna say it: Sjogren's Syndrome sucks. It's bad enough to have a bi-polar personality (either on or off, no in-between switch), but to have Sjogren's on top of it is just crappy. Because Sjogren's demands that I do things on its terms, not mine, and it would much prefer an in-between pace. It wants me to get regular sleep, to take breaks, to alternate tasks... And sometimes it doesn't want me to work at all. It would like for me to sit like a lump and stare at the wall.

Well, maybe not. Maybe that's its punishment for not obeying the other rules.

So right now, my arms and hands ache miserably, the fatigue is almost overwhelming, and my eyes have that sand-torture feeling (like somebody slowly drizzled sand into them). I'd go take a nap, except that I just got up not too very long ago.

Still, I have a bazaar to do and I'm nowhere near ready, so Sjogren's, you're just going to have to whip me afterwards. Okay?

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