And then, when I got better, there were so many people I felt I'd let down, so many things left undone... Somehow it just got harder and harder to face myself, much less anybody else out there who might care.
And I know you do. Care.
So I'm starting fresh, yet again.
Just a quick catch-up: I lived through both head surgeries and am remarkably un-marred by them. A small bald patch on top of my head is a tiny price to pay to escape melanoma a second time. I finally got a diagnosis for why my hands hurt and were beginning to disobey me: an autoimmune disorder, probably Sjogren's Syndrome, possibly with lupus. The drugs brought my hands back to me, but I thought they'd kill me first. Now it's just a bit of nausea and a lot of fatigue, but I can work again and have been fairly well for some time.
My word for 2009 is "relationships," as in friendship, as in how things fit together (or don't), as in finding mentors and fellow artists. So far, I've found a local knitting circle and "met" some wonderful artists through a smARTist teleseminar and my business blog and Twitter.
But I need to take care of the relationships I already have, as well. If you're reading this and I've broken an agreement or promise, more than likely I have not forgotten it and do intend to fix it now. But I still would love to hear from you, and forgiveness would be a kindness if you have it.
